I hate my sister! She stole all the money in my wallet! She's being all innocent and "I'm-too-cute-to-do-it!" so my mom doesn't believe her, but I know it's her! I have proof! Just wait and see, you fucking little bitch. I'm gonna get you one of these days, and when I do, oh you will wish you had never been born you stupid ugly shit-faced brat!
Sorry, just had to get that out.
Title: Wrath of ConvictionAuthor Perpetrator: Krum Chick
Name: Rain
Species: Human
Hair: Not mentioned
Eyes: Not mentioned (though she is described as being "a beautiful maid")
Markings: None
Special Possessions/Animal Companions: None
Origins: Born in Carvahall and is captured by slave traders some time later, despite the fact that slave traders usually only wander around in the Hadarac Desert. She is brought to Uru'baen and is sold to Galbatorix, who later on "gives" her to Murtagh as a maid. In later chapters, an old childhood friend named Delene is mentioned.
Connections to canon: Murtagh is madly in love with her and eventually, she gives birth to his child named "Samira". (head-desk)
Special abilities: Aside from being able to make Murtagh fall madly in love with her at first sight, none.
She's beautiful...she's kind...she's generous...she's sweet...haven't we all heard this somewhere before? Yes, ladies and germs, that's right. Rain is the good ol' Classic Sue: big-hearted, innocent, and drop-dead gorgeous, thereby making Murtagh fall head-over-heels in love with her. After all, she's Mary-Sue! Who wouldn't?!
Oh yeah. Us Sue-haters. But then again, we're "evil despots who enjoy crushing wonderful dreams" (yes, I am using a quote from a piece of hatemail I got).
Seriously. Rain is the very epitome of the original Mary-Sue. Think of is this angelic-looking beauty with round, innocent eyes and creamy fair skin, with long, long hair and full luscious lips, and she's got a dark past and is hoping for her knight-in-shining-armor to come and save her. Got that image in your mind? Yep, that's Rain.
And Murtagh sleeps with her! Shockers!
(pukes)
Oh man! My calamari's all over the keyboard! Damn it! That calamari was good!
(grumbles) I'll get you yet, you stupid Mary-Sue, for making me barf up my EXTREMELY TASTY DINNER!
Here's the sample. (grumble grumble)
Sample: Murtagh and Rain do the dirty. Ewww...
Is it redeemable: No. Unless you take a chain saw/blow torch/ax/shotgun/scalpel/blunt and rusty knife/similar weapon to it.
- Mood:
irritated - Music:The Bitch Song - Bowling For Soup
Title: Beautiful Disaster
Name: Kari
Species: Human/Shade (ooh, isn't that exotic?)
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Markings: None
Special Possessions/Animal Companions: A black dragon by the name of Thor
Origins: Born in the town of "Monaco" (isn't Monaco a country?) where she lived with her mother, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Kari's father is...Durza! She is half-Shade half-human, and because of that, all the townspeople of Monaco hate her! Oh sob! Oh cry! Oh wah! But her family loves her, and that's all that matters! But then the town is attacked by "strange people" (o.O) and her family is killed! Gaspshockthehorror! And thus being the only survivor, besides her cousin's baby daughter Nola (though how a sixteen-year-old girl and six-month-old baby managed to survive something five grown adults couldn't is beyond me), she now has to make a living for herself! Oh no! She can't possibly work! After all, we all know how Sues feel about work.
Connections to canon: Like I said, her father is Durza. (rolls eyes) The story hasn't yet said if she'll fall in love with Eragon or Murtagh, but if we're truly unlucky, most likely both of them will fall for her and she'll be "torn between them. Who should she choose? The young and handsome blue Rider or the equally handsome and super-angsty red Rider?" Please excuse me while I retch.
Special abilities: Aside from all the usual things that comes with being a Dragon Rider, none.
Okay people...since when did...how did...what on earth...BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. This has got to be one of the stupidest plotlines I've ever read. Durza's daughter? By the name of all that is Inheritance, what the hell is that about? It says in the story that Durza did "unpleasant" things to Kari's mother, thus resulting in Kari's birth. Now, think about it, did Durza seem particularly sex-addicted in either the movie or the book? Think about it. He kept Arya prisoner in Gil'ead for quite a while, and during that time, he never did anything to her other then occasional whipping or beating or branding or...you get the idea. He left the whole "do what you want with her" thing to the guards. Now then, if Durza was a rapist as this author claims, wouldn't he join in? Well, he didn't, so what does that tell us?
Also, for an orphaned girl from Alagaesia, Kari has awfully modern speech. She uses words like "guy" and "um" and she even calls her dragon a "goober". WTF?!
Ugh. Just...ugh. Go check out the sample if you want to.
Sample: Kari's origins and her sob-story. Oh boo freaking hoo.
Is it redeemable? Yes! Yes, by all the gods, yes! Just please, remove the "Durza's daughter" and the "uber dark past" angle and make Kari's way of talking less modern, and yes, this story is redeemable! The author'll have to work hard to edit the story, but if done properly and correctly, it'll become less vomit-inducing and more readable.
- Mood:
silly - Music:When It Was Me - Paula Deanda
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inheritance_sue- Inheritance Sues
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